Chapter 21


“What a night!” Yulia said as they walked into the apartment.

“I know.” Lena said. “It’s a good thing that you didn’t have any gigs lined up anytime soon. Since we have to find a new band member to replace Mik.”

“True. I think now that you have joined we will play at more clubs from now on.”

“What? You aren’t planning our world tour yet?” Lena teased.

“One thing at a time.” Yulia said, grinning.

“Are you hungry?” Lena asked as she walked over to the fridge.

“Not really. I guess all the excitement killed my hunger. Could you hand me a Coke though?”

“Sure.” Lena said and got a can for herself as well. She handed Yulia her drink, then got a small bowl that she put a double handful of baby carrots into. “I’m a little hungry, so I’m going to munch on these.” She told Yulia.

“Ok.” Yulia said as she sat on the couch. Lena turned on the stereo, but kept the volume low enough to where they could talk without having to raise their voices. Then she sat next to Yulia.

“I liked what you said to Mik.” Yulia said as she put her arm around Lena’s shoulders. “I would have just called him an asshole, but what you said was better.”

“I really do feel sorry for him.” Lena said. “To carry all that anger around like he does…he must be very unhappy.”

“Yeah, I guess you are right. I can’t feel sorry for him though. Not when he was going to hurt you.” Yulia said.

Lena said, “I understand. I’d feel the same way if he’d threatened you.”

Yulia was looking at her hands, Lena noticed.

“Yuli? What’s wrong?”

“I…I really lost control tonight. I’m glad I tackled him and hit him…but it bothers me that I couldn’t stop hitting him.”

Lena put her arms around Yulia and kissed her lips lightly. “Yuli, it’s understandable. You were afraid for me…and that triggered your anger for everyone that has hurt me. You aren’t a violent person. Far from it—you are amazingly gentle. Mik just made the mistake of tapping into all that anger you’ve felt for people from my past.”

Yulia stared at Lena a moment, letting the words sink in. Then she smiled a little and said, “That makes sense.”

“Good.” Lena said and kissed her again. “Want a carrot?”

“Sure.” Yulia said and popped one in her mouth.

They didn’t say anything for a while, just ate carrots and drank their sodas. Then Yulia said, “What do you think about Diz and Moira?”

“I hope they get together. Moira could use someone stable like Diz, that’s for sure. And Diz would never be bored.” Lena said.

“Yeah. I was surprised that Moira left as early as she did. I wonder why?” Yulia said.

“Maybe she likes Diz too, and got nervous.”

“Moira? Nervous?” Yulia said and giggled.

“It could happen.” Lena said with a smile.

“Yeah. Do you want some more carrots?”

Lena smiled. She’d eaten maybe five carrots. Miss “I’m not really hungry” had eaten the rest. “A few.” Lena said.

Yulia got up and went into the kitchen. She returned with the bowl full of carrots. Lena just smiled, thanked her, and watched Yulia eat most of the carrots.

*****

Yulia slipped out of bed, careful not to wake Lena. She walked quietly towards the bathroom, but stopped when she heard knocking.

She thought about putting on a robe, but decided that her t-shirt and boxer shorts were decent enough. Assuming that the person knocking was someone she’d let in at one in the morning.

Yulia looked through the peephole and saw Alexi leaning against the wall. He had both hands over his face, and by the way his shoulders shook, she could tell he was crying.

Alexi? Crying? I’ve never seen him cry, not even that night his dad beat him up, Yulia thought.

Yulia threw the door open and said, “Alexi? What’s wrong?”

Alexi, still sobbing, took his hands away form his face. Someone had beaten him, Yulia saw. His face was bruised and his lip was bleeding. But what truly frightened her was the look of despair in his red, swollen eyes.

“Yulia…” He choked out as he stepped to her. “I…he…” Then Alexi began weeping uncontrollably, stumbling toward her. Yulia barely was able to catch him as he collapsed.

“LENA!” Yulia screamed, feeling herself start to panic. “LENA! COME HERE! I NEED YOU!”

*****

Lena was awake and in motion before Yulia had called her name a second time. She paused only long enough to grab the tire iron she kept under her side of the bed in case of intruders. Lena was terribly afraid that Mik had broken in and was hurting Yulia.

If so, she thought, you’ll soon regret it you son of a bitch!

Lena flung the door open and charged into the room. She stopped short when she saw Yulia holding Alexi. She felt a moment of relief when she saw nobody was attacking Yulia. Then she dropped the tire iron and rushed over to help.

“What happened?” She asked Yulia as she helped lead Alexi to the couch.

“I don’t know! He was like this when I opened the door!”

Alexi was still clinging to Yulia. Lena hugged him from behind and said, “Whatever it is, Alexi…we are here and we’ll help you.”

“I’m…sorry.” Alexi said between sobs.

“You just go ahead and cry.” Yulia said gently. “Cry all you want to. All you need to.”

It was quite a while before Alexi could stop crying. When it finally tapered off he pulled away form Yulia and said, “I’m sorry. I’ve gotten blood, snot and tears all over your shirt.”

Blood, snot and tears—sounds like the name of a heavy metal group. Yulia thought.

“Don’t worry about it.” Yulia said. “I’ll go change my shirt real quick and run to the bathroom. That’s where I was headed when you knocked, and I’ve really got to go.”

That got a smile out of Alexi, as she’d hoped. But it was a weak smile.

When Yulia came out of the bathroom, Alexi went to wash off his face. He was in the bathroom for a long time. Long enough to where Lena was about to knock and ask if he was ok.

Then the door opened. Lena saw he had a dazed look on his face, and he was shivering.

He’s in shock. Lena thought. Whatever it is…it’s bad enough to send him into shock.

Lena stood up and walked quickly to Alexi. She took his hand and said, “Come over here with us.”

He followed her and she led him to the couch and he sat next to Yulia.

“I’ll be right back.” Lena said and ran to get a blanket out of the bedroom. When she returned, she wrapped it around Alexi. Then she sat next to him.

They sat there in silence for several minutes. Finally Alexi said, “He’s been lying to me…about everything.”

“Who has?” Yulia asked.

“My…” Alexi laughed bitterly and continued, “boyfriend.”

“What happened Alexi?” Lena asked, taking his hand in hers.

He took a long shuddering breath and let it out slowly. Then he said, “The night started out ok. He’d fixed dinner. We talked a little, about nothing important. Then I decided to tell him how I’d been feeling. At first he listened politely. When I told him that I’d decided I wasn’t ready to make love with him, he laughed.”

Lena and Yulia gaped at him, stunned. “He what?” Yulia asked.

“Laughed. And it was such a cruel laugh…”

“That bastard!” Yulia muttered.

Alexi said, “That’s nothing.

“What else did he do, Alexi?” Lena asked.

“Well, it turns out that he works with my dad. He’d lied about that too. He is the one who told my dad he thought I acted like a faggot.”

“Why?” Yulia asked. “For God’s sake…why would he do something like that?”

“For his own amusement, it seems.” Alexi said, his voice shaking.

“Oh Alexi!” Lena said as she hugged him. “How that must have hurt you!”

Alexi hugged her back, then pulled away. “That’s still not all.” He said.

Alexi ran both hands through his hair and stared at the floor. He didn’t say anything but tears ran down his face. Lena and Yulia exchanged worried looks. Then Lena put her hand on Alexi’s shoulder and said, “Alexi, can you tell us what happened?”

“He…he told me that he’d taped us when we were…well, fooling around.” Alexi said in a shaking voice. “I know it’s true. He showed me one of the tapes.”

Yulia’s jaw dropped. She couldn’t imagine how she’d feel if someone she had loved had betrayed her like this guy had Alexi.

“Why did he say he did that?” Yulia asked.

“He said…he said that he’d show my father if….if I didn’t do as he said. He…he said he owned me now.”

When Alexi said those last few words, Lena’s head snapped back as if she’d been slapped. Yulia noticed, and mouthed the words “What’s wrong?”. Lena shook her head and mouthed back “Not now.”. Yulia nodded, even thought the look in her lover’s eyes worried her. She knew Lena was right though. Alexi needed them right now.

“What did you do when he said that?” Lena asked, her own voice shaking now.

Alexi covered his face with his hands and didn’t answer for several minutes. Then he said, “I told him I was leaving. That he could show my father the tapes. I figured I’d call his bluff. After all, he’s in the tapes too. And I thought that if he did show them, I could ask to stay with you until I could get a place of my own.”

“You are always welcome here.” Yulia reassured him.

Alexi started to cry again, and the girls could barely understand him when he began to speak. They leaned in close to try and hear him.

“He…he’s so much bigger that I am. So much stronger. He wouldn’t….let me leave. He kept hitting me…and screaming. Then he….” Alexi tried to finish but seemed to choke on the words. His eyes met Yulia’s for a second and she thought, Whatever it is….it has killed a part of him.

Then he covered his face with his hands again and let out a wail that made Yulia think that he sounded like his soul had been ripped apart.

Lena said in a whisper, “He raped you, didn’t he?”

He managed to nod, even as he cried.

Lena and Yulia put their arms around him, trying to will some of their strength into him.

They held him like that for a very long time.

*****

“Alexi? Do you want us to take you to the hospital?” Lena asked.

“No, I’m ok. Physically, anyway. I bled some but….nothing major.”

“The police then.” Yulia said.

“No!” Alexi said loudly. Then in a softer tone he said, “I’m not going to the police.”

“But you…” Yulia had started to say, “But you have to.”. They she thought better of it and said, “Why don’t you want to?”

When Alexi didn’t say anything, Lena asked, “Did he threaten you?”

Alexi nodded. “That’s not all. He also…” Alexi sighed and said, “I didn’t just come here because you are my best friends. I had to warn you.”

Lena and Yulia both looked puzzled. “Warn us of what?” Yulia asked.

“Do you remember a few months back when we played at a club and Lena couldn’t go because she had to work a double shift?”

“Sure. It felt weird not to have her there.”

“He was there that night. Afterwards, he said something that I thought was weird even then.”

“What was it?” Yulia asked.

Alexi looked uncomfortable saying it. “He said that we looked so much alike that fucking you would be like fucking me.”

Lena looked pissed. “And you didn’t think she should know something like that?”

“I just….hell, I don’t know! I thought maybe he was trying to make me jealous.”

Yulia put her hand on Lena’s arm. “Hon, calm down. He didn’t know what the guy was like.”

Lena looked at Yulia, then back at Alexi. The look on his face made her feel like she’d just kicked a puppy down a flight of stairs. She shouldn’t lash out at him.

“I’m sorry. I just don’t like the thought of that guy talking about Yulia that way.” Lena said sincerely.

“I understand.” Alexi said.

Then he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a photograph.

“I took this picture of him outside his house without him knowing. He wouldn’t give me one, and I wanted one to look at when I wasn’t with him.” Alexi said bitterly.

Alexi handed it to Yulia. Her eyes widened with surprise. “Alexi…how old is this guy?”

“Thirty-five. He’d told me that he was in his late twenty’s but tonight he told me his real age. As futher proof of how stupid I am.”

“You aren’t stupid! You trusted him. You are supposed to be able to trust the people you love.” Lena said.

“That’s right.” Yulia agreed and handed the photo to Lena. “Why do you want us to see this picture anyway?”

“You need to know what he looks like.” Alexi said sadly. At the same moment Lena looked at the picture he continued, “He said that he’d come after you if I told anyone. I’m afraid he might anyway.”

Since Alexi was looking at the floor and Yulia was looking at Alexi, they both missed Lena’s reaction. Shock, horror, and rage were clearly written all over her face.

Then she remembered Alexi’s habit of writing when and where he took photographs. She flipped the picture over and there was and address. She memorized it quickly and fought to control her emotions.

“I’m sorry. My stupidity has endangered you.”

“You aren’t stupid! He’s a sick asshole! You didn’t create him!” Yulia said.

“She’s right.” Lena said as she sat back down next to Alexi. “This isn’t your fault at all. The shame is all his.”

Yulia smiled a little to herself. “The shame is all his” was something she’d said a lot to Lena.

“You…you wouldn’t understand.” Alexi mumbled.

Lena said softly, “I understand better than you know.”

He looked at her, surprised.

“I was raped too, Alexi. I blamed myself as well, and I was wrong to do so. Please try to remember that as you heal from this.” Lena said.

Alexi’s eyes filled with tears. “Will I ever heal?”

“You’ll never forget.” Lena said as she took his hand in hers. “But you will heal. I promise you, it is possible.”

 
Chapter 22

“He’s been in there a long time, don’t you think?” Yulia asked worriedly.

“I’m not surprised.” Lena said. “After something like that…it’s hard to feel clean again.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Yulia said. She had not known what to say when Alexi asked to use the shower. She knew that evidence that would be needed to put that rapist behind bars was now literally going down the drain.

Yulia sighed. Hell, he wouldn’t go to the cops anyway. Why not have him feel as comfortable as he could?

“I think I should stay up with him tonight.” Lena said.

“How come?”

“I’m afraid he might try to hurt himself.” Lena said.

“Wouldn’t he have done that already?”

“He felt he had to warn us, remember? Even if I fall asleep in that chair, I’d hear him if he tried to leave.”

“He wouldn’t have to leave the house.” Yulia pointed out.

“Alexi would never try to kill himself somewhere that we’d find him.” Lena said.

“That’s true. Ok, I’ll stay up with you.”

“You’ve got to go to work in the morning and it’s already two thirty in the morning. I’m off tomorrow. I’ll do it.” Lena said.

Yulia sighed. “Ok. You are right.”

Lena kissed her. “It’s just for one night.”

“Yeah. I guess I’m being selfish to want you with me when Alexi is hurting so bad.”

“You are certainly not selfish.” Lena said.

Yulia pulled Lena into an embrace and said, “Hon, I know you are worried. That this guy might hurt me, I mean. I promise I’ll be careful.”

“I know you will Yuli.” Lena said. “I promise I’ll do what it takes to keep you safe.”

Then she kissed Yulia on the forehead and held her close.

*****

Lena looked up when the front door opened. She was surprised to see Yulia home from work four hours early.

Yulia also looked upset.

“What’s wrong?” Lena asked as she crossed the room quickly and took Yulia into her arms.

“Where’s Alexi?” Yulia asked.

“I put him in our bed after you went to work. I thought he’d be more comfortable. He’s slept all day. I guess that’s how he’s dealing with all of this.”

“Last night…are you sure Alexi never left the apartment?” Yulia asked, nervously tapping the newspaper she held in her right hand against her leg.

“Yes, I’m sure.” Lena said. “What’s going on? Why are you home so early?”

“I said I was sick again and they let me leave.” Yulia said.

“Why? Will you please tell me what has you so upset?”

“I saw this on my lunch break.” Yulia said, handing her the paper.

Lena looked at it. The first thing that caught her eye was the photo.

It was a picture of the man who had raped Alexi.

The headline read, “Man Dies in House Fire”

Lena quickly read the story.

“It says that they think he fell asleep while smoking in bed. Why did you want to know if Alexi left?” Lena asked.

“I was afraid he’d gone for revenge. They say in the newspaper that the fire started sometime after four in the morning. Since we went to bed at three, he would have had to have left here to do it.”

Lena kissed her and said, “I swear to you that Alexi didn’t do it.”

“Thank God!” Yulia said.

“Would you have blamed him if he had?” Lena asked.

“Honestly? No, not at all. It would have been like shooting a rabid dog. Only I’d feel sorry for the dog since it doesn’t choose to be sick. That man chose to be evil.”

“I agree.” Lena said.

“But in the state he was in last night, if Alexi had done it he would have been caught. That scared me. I’m so glad you stayed up with him! Otherwise I’d be afraid the cops would come for him any minute!”

Lena smiled and said, “I’m glad to ease your mind.”

“How do you think he’ll take it when he finds out?” Yulia asked.

“I don’t know. We’ll have to tell him before he finds out some other way.”

“True. I’m going to take a shower. We’ll talk about how we should discuss it with him afterwards. Ok?”

“Sure.” Lena said. “Ill get rid of that paper so he doesn’t see it before we tell him.”

“Good thinking.” Yulia said. She walked quietly into the bedroom to get clean clothes to change into. Then she went into the bathroom.

When Lena heard the water running, she went into the kitchen and got a medium sized bowl out. Then she got the scissors. She first cut out the news article, which she put into her pocket. Then she cut out the picture.

Then she found the matches they kept to light candles with.

Lena sat at the kitchen table with the bowl in front of her, and she looked at the picture.

Lena said, “You won’t ever hurt Alexi again. You won’t hurt me, or my Yulia.” On the word “Yulia”, her voice broke.

Lena lit the match and set the picture on fire. She watched it burn, holding it until the flame got to close to her fingers. The she dropped the picture into the bowl and watched until there was nothing but ash.

Then Lena said, very softly, “Goodbye…..Uncle Ivan.”


The End.



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